Perfect Peace

It's the wee, wee hours on Christmas Eve. Soon stores will be opening to usher in those procrastinators who have waited until the last minute to find the perfect gift for their loved ones. That has never been my style. I watch for the bargains all year long and usually am fully finished by now. This year was no different. Oh we did a little crowd bashing last week but that was enough. How that actually gets people into the spirit is beyond me. It wants to zap the spirit right out of my life. But that's ok, we're all cast from a different cloth.

Tonight I've been a bit teary-eyed. Not only waxing nostalgic over Christmas' past but realizing that according to the doctors, this very well could be my last. Am I working harder to make it special because of this? Nope, not at all. If anything, I'm more "here" in the everyday things and trying to find the joy in each moment. To laugh at the flour all over the counters and floors from our cookie-baking "experiment", to not stress when dinner got served at 9 pm instead of the usual senior time of 4 pm to which we've become accustomed. Presents wrapped? Nope, not yet. Actually I have to remember where I hid them first and that might take awhile. I got the Christmas cards out the other day to start working on them and here it is Christmas Eve and the first one isn't even signed yet. Oh well, I'll get them done and God willing, everyone will get theirs before April Fools' Day. I'm not stressing about it. You see, I'm enjoying everything that's going right but especially those little things that just seem to go wrong.

I'm also remembering that there are many, many of my friends who lost loved ones unexpectedly this year and my heart hurts for them. I remember all too well the raw nerves exposed during this time after the departure of a loved one. The pain can sometimes be unbearable and the tears hot enough to burn tracks down your face. I know, I've been there. This will not be a happy Christmas for them. They will hurt but they will find that God can and will use it in His own way. They will in turn be more appreciative of the little details and not stress over them quite so much. They'll work hard to try and remember the details from last year - those same details that they would have emblazoned in their memory had they only known it would be the last as the status quo.

It's funny how hearing that the end is near for me has turned out to be one of the greatest gifts, odd as that may sound. It truly is a gift that I didn't know I wanted and yet have come to love. It's a gift that keeps on giving. My perspective on life has changed. It has in turn multiplied into other gifts that I didn't know I wanted and yet am cherishing none-the-less. I've received the gift of peace. There is a peace in my spirit that carries me along each day. It has given me the gift of tears - both happy and sad. Sad because I may never spend a Christmas with my family and friends again on this earth and yet happy knowing that soon I will spend time with people that I have loved, who have loved me, that I haven't even seen in a long, long time. I miss them and am looking forward to eternity to catch up with them. I've received the gift of rest. This ol' body can't do the things I used to be able to do, so I'm forced to sit on the sidelines and let the "new team" take over and you know what? that's been a blessing in itself. Not many people get to sit down and watch the preparations as they unfold and seeing people who have always just known "it" was done realize that there is a whole lot more that goes into than they thought. There is the gift of satisfaction of having had a full life, even if it hasn't been long enough.

All of us are surrounded by gifts from our Father everyday. My hope and prayer for you is that you take the time out to slow down, look around, and take it all in. I can guarantee you there are people that will be gathering for their Christmas dinner with empty seats at the table who will be wishing they had done that last year. Their time is up. The landscape of their family has changed forever. Never in a million years did they see it coming and yet that's the reality they are forced to face this year and for years to come. There will be tears, there will be hearts aching, but there in the midst of all that pain, will come a peace that surpasses all understanding and that peace will come because of a baby born in a stable over 2000 years ago. Please don't wait for disaster to hit your family before you give yourself a "time-out". Take it, use it wisely and enjoy all the gifts that have come out of the one ultimate gift that can be passed along. The gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May your new sense of reflection and being "aware" last far beyond the holidays and carry you throughout next year. My prayer is that all your seats are full at your dinner table and that all your memories be made from pleasant ones but if you just so happen to have tragedy befall you, my prayer is that you receive that gift of peace that was bought and paid for at the cross. It's one of the sweetest gifts I've ever known. Merry Christmas and God Bless you with His perfect peace. Love y'all.