Hebrews 4:12
The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
It's that time of year again. Halloween. A day and night that brings out the best and worst of people and in people - especially Christians. I have seen more division in the body of Christ on this one day and this topic than on many others. Some believe that we, as Christians, should have nothing to do with this day at all and hole up in a room together - to not let it "touch" us. Then there is the other camp that agrees there is a dark side to it but that there is also a fun side and choose to celebrate the fun side. I'm sure there are some that get all into the dark side but for the sake of argument, I'm going to leave them out of it this time. I am of the second camp - that there is a fun, light side and I choose to participate in that. A lot of my friends disagree and they are always allowed their opinions. In this "note" I would like to explain my heart in this matter.
First and foremost, God knows my heart. He knows that I will bow before no other God but Him. He knows that I will not be mixing any special potions in a cauldron or worshipping a skull. He knows my heart is for children of all shapes, sizes, creeds, religions, race, etc. to come to know Him in a personal manner. My personal feeling is that the enemy has enough days of the year to influence and touch our children and I am not willing to stand back, hide, and let him have that day all to himself. I will be out there, fighting for the spirits of the children and doing my part to plant seeds and fill voids. After all, it was because someone reached out to me that I am even a member of God's precious Kingdom. Here's my Halloween story:
A long, long time ago, when I was a mere 7 years old, I was invited to a costume party at a local church in the town I grew up in. Back then it didn't seem like Christians were looking for demons under every rock and shying away from Halloween like they do now. My friend Barb attended this church and invited me to go to AWANA (a church program) with her and to come dressed up. My mom was a single mom at the time with no monetary resources to get me a costume. She was already worried about what to scavenge up together for my younger brother and I to go trick-or-treating. Not wanting to let me down, she came up with a game plan. She was working at a steel company at the time in the office and she asked her co-workers for some help. The guys really got into it and together they "designed" my costume. They took the big brown wrapping paper and cut out a dress from it. They used the bright yellow wrapping tape to hold it together along the seams and to fashion a design on the front. They used the same material to make me a headband and fashioned a feather out of paper from the copier machine. They even went so far as to make moccassin-looking covers for my gym shoes. My mother expertly painted my face with the makeup she had on hand - some of which was a darker foundation - and off I went. I had a blast. For the first time in my whole life, I felt like I fit in. I was one of the girls and they all loved my costume. So much so that I even won the contest. I got a gift certificate to a local food store and a coveted ribbon to display in my room. I was on top of the world. I felt loved and accepted at a time when my personal world had been blown to smithereens.
My father had left us two years earlier, a year after my grandmother had died. She had lived with us so it was especially hard on us. Now our home was void of two very important people. Life at home was depressing at best, and downright sad most of the time. My mother was left with three children to take care of and no support coming from my father. My older brother did what he could to help out but he was still in high school too. Times were hard and there wasn't much to smile about except that we were all together. Little did I know at the time, but those would turn out to be some of the happiest days of my childhood. My family history consisted of grandparents and great grandparents who were involved in occult activities. While my parents were never active participants, they never really said any of that was wrong so I didn't have any inkling that not every family believed that. We didn't have any of the practices in our home but I did listen to the stories being told of things that had happened. It was just a part of life as we knew it.
During those days, I know I was left out of a lot of things, both at school and in the neighborhood. Most parents were afraid to let their kids play with me - just in case divorce was contagious - so I didn't have many playmates. At school they didn't have the knowledge or experience to deal with the unique aspects of children coming from broken homes. It was hard on my mom to see us suffer because of it but she was facing her own persecutions from the same people. No longer invited to join in anything for those same fears, she became reclusive unless she was at work.
While winning felt good and made my day, what happened after that was really even better. When I came home and told my mom "we" won, she was ecstatic. Then when I handed her the certificate, she was in tears - of happiness. You see, her paycheck wasn't due for a couple of more days and we literally had nothing left to eat. With that certificate she was able to get groceries and feed us all for the rest of the week. Nobody knew we needed that except God. My mother was a proud woman and would never reach out for charity. She did the best she could on her own. My brother was the same and Ken and I were too young to understand much except to obey when we were told not to talk about it to anyone. My mother's way of escape was to bury herself in alcohol until she passed out, with Dick joining her when he was home or more often than not, his choice was working. I can't say it was an unhappy home but it never felt right. It was just all we knew. Getting drunk and passing out was the "norm" in our home.
Of course since I was so well accepted at that church, where adults were wide awake and involved, I went back again and again and it wasn't long before a missionary got through to my heart and led me to Christ. As I look back at all I've been through all these years, I can't imagine having come through it without my faith in God. It has been tested time and time again up until this day and I will not waiver. People wonder why I "celebrate" Halloween and get so involved for the kids. Well to answer their questions - it's because someone did that for me. If my friend had not invited me or if the church had not sponsored the costume contest or if my mom had not gotten involved or if I had refused to wear a paper costume in the midst of all those store bought costumes, if, if, if... I would not be here today with the faith I have in our one true God. Barb gave the invitation but it was a whole bunch of people that not only touched my life but also renewed my mother's faith in a God that she had all but forgotten. She didn't stop drinking right away, but her faith grew and for the first time in a long, long time, she had hope. Because through the pomp and circumstance of a Halloween costume party, a prayer that she mentioned to no one but God Himself, was answered. And a whole bunch of prayers more that she made to what she thought was just the wind, for her children. So on Sunday night I will be at the Trunk or Treat at our church, with my car and myself decked out in a Tom Sawyer theme. I will laugh with and ((hug)) the children, I will pass out candy and I will show them God's love. After all Jesus Himself chose to mingle amongst the thieves and prostitutes - He got out INTO the world. He didn't hole up with His Disciples and say "oh well, it's a bad world so we'll just keep to ourselves." Nope I dare to say that Jesus will be right there with me - showing His love to a lost world, not condemning it. How can I do anything less?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Jeremiah 29:11
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I've know this verse and have quoted it nearly all my life. It was one of the very first verses I memorized as a Chum in the Awana program at my church. I've clutched it near and dear to my heart when things haven't been going right and certainly during our many moves through the years, but never have those words come more alive to me than recently. As most of you know, we just moved to Florida. The reasons we moved are many - to be closer to my son, grandson and daughter-in-law, we were losing our home in Tennessee because Oliver lost his job over 2 years ago and hasn't been able to find anything, our savings is depleted, the doctors at Vanderbilt have told me there is nothing more they can do for me and are saying this is probably my last year at life, etc. We prayed hard before we made the move and we are absolutely sure that this was what God wanted us to do - yet we weren't sure how we were going to pull it off. We had to have several garage sales and finally sold our storage building to be able to pay for the move. Our credit cards are maxed out because, basically, we've had to live off of them for over 2 years. My health insurance has run out and I've been denied social security disability - the first time because I didn't have the diagnosis I do now and this time because they say I haven't worked enough quarters recently enough to qualify. We are literally having to live off of Oliver's social security check, and that certainly does not go far.
We're used to being frugal, we have been all our lives, so that has been the easiest part in all this. The hardest part was letting go of the friendships we made in Tennessee and the people who hold such a special place in our hearts. We knew the move was inevitable but I honestly thought that when the time came, it was going to be because God was sending me down here to die. It all made "sense" to me. My family would be together to help each other grieve. If others wanted to come down, there is an airport close by (which we didn't have in TN). I always dreamed of living in Florida - ever since my first visit here back in 1975 when I went to Ft. Lauderdale and then up to Orlando. I thought God was just granting me my last wish to be near my family before I die.
As bleak as things were looking, I figured the time had come. My body was not cooperating and I rarely left my broken recliner, let alone home. I'd manage to drag myself to church on Sunday and occasionally a trip to Walmart - just to get out. I'd gotten pretty good at not letting the stress of the situation(s) we were facing get the best of me, because it would only make my breathing harder. Before we left Tennessee, I have to admit, I felt defeated. I felt like I gave it one helluva shot, but lost in the end. I didn't have the energy or desire to even fight anymore. In many ways, I had just given up - not necessarily on life itself, but certainly on any quality of life.
Moving day came and we had quite the turnout to help us. Dan drove up from Florida to take a trailer full back with his Explorer and we had a bunch of men from church and Teen Challenge to help load the truck. Well, we thought it would only be one truck but then we had to get a second small truck because of the amount of items we couldn't stack. Mercifully God came through for us on that too... We needed another driver. Dan had already left with the trailer because he needed to get back home. My friend Cathy was going to be riding in the car with me so that I didn't have to make the trip alone. We had thought about me driving the other truck and Cathy taking my car but she didn't feel comfortable driving alone, especially since she had no idea where she was going, and me driving the truck was being way to optimistic on my part. So we prayed and then our friend Dan volunteered to give up his Labor Day weekend and drive the truck down on Saturday with his wife, Jessica, and the kids following behind in their car. We left late on Thursday and stopped for the night outside Montgomery, AL. I was glad we had talked Oliver into stopping as well. He had a flat tire on the way down and that was after an already long day loading the trucks, cleaning the house before we left (as best as we could - our good friend Bama went in a week later and spit-polished everything for us, bless her heart) and then meeting traffic along the way. We finished the drive on Friday and just unloaded the beds, etc. so that we could sleep here Friday night. On Saturday morning, Dan had set up for some men to help us unload. Of course it was while a tropical depression was moving through and they had to unload in the rain but it wasn't too bad. They were able to line the truck up with the back patio, which is covered, and it was a direct shot into the house. The only had a little dripping between the truck and the roof to deal with. I had to helplessly stand by and watch - with the hardest part of my day being to stay out of the way with my oxygen tubing so that I didn't trip anyone.
Everything with the move itself went fine. For some reason I just knew when I first walked into this house that this was where we were supposed to live. It was dirty, a bit run-down, and everybody had thought I had lost my mind when I said that I loved it. They attributed it to my constant lack of good oxygenated blood getting to my brain but everyone wanted "Momma to be happy". I was not only happy, but actually excited. I welcomed the challenge and I could just see such potential in this old house and thought all it needed was some vision and some TLC - something I still had plenty of.
On moving day, I really thought I would be emotional leaving my "dream house" behind and all the hopes and dreams that I had there. I was leaving behind good friends and a place that I loved. I actually went through the house and prayed blessings over the next people that live there. I truly hope they, whoever they are, will be happy there for many, many years. It's a beautiful house in a wonderful area. I thought I'd be in tears, but I wasn't. I even stopped at the end of the street before making the turn where I would never see the house again and mentioned to Cathy that I was surprised that I wasn't upset. At first we both thought it was because I was just too exhausted but it wasn't that. I had a peace about it. In my mind I thought I was leaving and heading to Florida to live out what little I had left of my life but there was something in my spirit that gave me such peace. We had sold our second car so that we could buy new recliners down here, knowing that we both spend a lot of time in them. We got a great deal at La-Z-Boy's two for one sale and they are extremely comfortable. Funny thing is that we haven't spent much time in them at all.
We've worked hard on this house to make it "ours". We only have one room, the office, left to paint and then the whole house is done. We've puttered in the yard and planted a few items but we know we'll be planting more. Oliver has been working so very hard, between painting and cleaning up the yard. The landlords came by to give us the receipt for our rent and literally had tears in their eyes. They said it was the best this house has looked in years. This was her parent's house, so she has an emotional attachment to it and he has invested so much into it, that he is happy to see his investment being taken care of. It's been a win-win situation.
Each day I seem to push myself a little harder and do a little bit more than the day before. We've taken plenty of "breaks" and headed out exploring our new area. We've been to the beach a couple of times and we've only missed one of Eli's soccer games - because Oliver was busy and lost track of time and I fell sound asleep in the above-mentioned recliner. While I'm still on oxygen 24/7, it seems I have been able to walk a little farther and do a little more each day. Instead of becoming weaker like the doctors predicted, I have become stronger. Instead of feeling all alone in a new area, we have met some wonderful people in our new church and we just know they will be friends for life. Speaking of our new church, we LOVE it. It's a "happening" church and so very involved in the community and we're fiiting right in. God knew what He was doing.
None of the facts have changed - we're still broke with far too many bills than income, they will be auctioning off the house in TN the end of the month (and hopefully someone will be blessed with it) and we don't know how that will all end up, I still have Pulmonary Fibrosis which has slowed me down but not knocked me out as predicted, etc. but life has taken a surprisingly upward turn. We're having fun. We're laughing and smiling and LIVING. It's been a joy, not a chore, to work on this house and the surrounding property. It's been wonderful seeing the vision of what it could be come together and to feel so at home here, it's like we've been here for years. It was tempting not to make the move though. The last week we were there, we got the call that we did qualify for the "Save my TN Home" program and they would have paid our mortgage for the next year. It was tempting, but we knew that even in a year from now, we'd be in no better shape to afford that house. The bank wouldn't work with us now and we'd be further in the hole a year from now. Plus if we accepted the payout, we'd be locked in there for at least 5 years or have to repay all of it. That wouldn't have been fair to Oliver. Besides, we really felt strongly that God wanted us down here.
As the days and weeks go by, we're finding out just how much God wanted us down here. It wasn't like what we thought it was going to be. It's been beyond our wildest dreams. We've hooked up to a wonderful church and, dare I say, we're excited about plugging in and getting involved there. It's like this church was handmade for us. Their beliefs in reaching out to the community and just the people are so in-tuned to how we are, it's way beyond coincidence. We love the community. There is so much to do here at little or no cost. We can ride down by the beach and look at the beautiful water whenever we want. Charlie is having a blast here. He has a huge yard to run around in and a playmate when Eli comes over. We haven't seen Eli as much as we'd like because they're so busy with school, work, sports and church - but that's ok. We're forging lives for ourselves and it's been wonderful. I look forward to getting up in the morning and seeing what God has planned for me each day. We have a peace that somehow things will work out even though we have no idea how. We're not stressing or worrying about it. Each night I lay my head down on my pillow and I thank God that today I have a roof over my head, the electric is paid so that I can watch tv and play on my computer, the water is paid so that I can take a shower, we have food in the house so that we won't go hungry, and we're both still alive and breathing. Today is a good day. But more than all that, I know that tomorrow will be too. His word tells me that I have a "hope and a future" and more than anytime in my life - I believe it. Life is good, but actually living life is even better - and I thank God that He has promised me just that. Have a great day y'all and be sure to thank God for it. ((hugs))
I've know this verse and have quoted it nearly all my life. It was one of the very first verses I memorized as a Chum in the Awana program at my church. I've clutched it near and dear to my heart when things haven't been going right and certainly during our many moves through the years, but never have those words come more alive to me than recently. As most of you know, we just moved to Florida. The reasons we moved are many - to be closer to my son, grandson and daughter-in-law, we were losing our home in Tennessee because Oliver lost his job over 2 years ago and hasn't been able to find anything, our savings is depleted, the doctors at Vanderbilt have told me there is nothing more they can do for me and are saying this is probably my last year at life, etc. We prayed hard before we made the move and we are absolutely sure that this was what God wanted us to do - yet we weren't sure how we were going to pull it off. We had to have several garage sales and finally sold our storage building to be able to pay for the move. Our credit cards are maxed out because, basically, we've had to live off of them for over 2 years. My health insurance has run out and I've been denied social security disability - the first time because I didn't have the diagnosis I do now and this time because they say I haven't worked enough quarters recently enough to qualify. We are literally having to live off of Oliver's social security check, and that certainly does not go far.
We're used to being frugal, we have been all our lives, so that has been the easiest part in all this. The hardest part was letting go of the friendships we made in Tennessee and the people who hold such a special place in our hearts. We knew the move was inevitable but I honestly thought that when the time came, it was going to be because God was sending me down here to die. It all made "sense" to me. My family would be together to help each other grieve. If others wanted to come down, there is an airport close by (which we didn't have in TN). I always dreamed of living in Florida - ever since my first visit here back in 1975 when I went to Ft. Lauderdale and then up to Orlando. I thought God was just granting me my last wish to be near my family before I die.
As bleak as things were looking, I figured the time had come. My body was not cooperating and I rarely left my broken recliner, let alone home. I'd manage to drag myself to church on Sunday and occasionally a trip to Walmart - just to get out. I'd gotten pretty good at not letting the stress of the situation(s) we were facing get the best of me, because it would only make my breathing harder. Before we left Tennessee, I have to admit, I felt defeated. I felt like I gave it one helluva shot, but lost in the end. I didn't have the energy or desire to even fight anymore. In many ways, I had just given up - not necessarily on life itself, but certainly on any quality of life.
Moving day came and we had quite the turnout to help us. Dan drove up from Florida to take a trailer full back with his Explorer and we had a bunch of men from church and Teen Challenge to help load the truck. Well, we thought it would only be one truck but then we had to get a second small truck because of the amount of items we couldn't stack. Mercifully God came through for us on that too... We needed another driver. Dan had already left with the trailer because he needed to get back home. My friend Cathy was going to be riding in the car with me so that I didn't have to make the trip alone. We had thought about me driving the other truck and Cathy taking my car but she didn't feel comfortable driving alone, especially since she had no idea where she was going, and me driving the truck was being way to optimistic on my part. So we prayed and then our friend Dan volunteered to give up his Labor Day weekend and drive the truck down on Saturday with his wife, Jessica, and the kids following behind in their car. We left late on Thursday and stopped for the night outside Montgomery, AL. I was glad we had talked Oliver into stopping as well. He had a flat tire on the way down and that was after an already long day loading the trucks, cleaning the house before we left (as best as we could - our good friend Bama went in a week later and spit-polished everything for us, bless her heart) and then meeting traffic along the way. We finished the drive on Friday and just unloaded the beds, etc. so that we could sleep here Friday night. On Saturday morning, Dan had set up for some men to help us unload. Of course it was while a tropical depression was moving through and they had to unload in the rain but it wasn't too bad. They were able to line the truck up with the back patio, which is covered, and it was a direct shot into the house. The only had a little dripping between the truck and the roof to deal with. I had to helplessly stand by and watch - with the hardest part of my day being to stay out of the way with my oxygen tubing so that I didn't trip anyone.
Everything with the move itself went fine. For some reason I just knew when I first walked into this house that this was where we were supposed to live. It was dirty, a bit run-down, and everybody had thought I had lost my mind when I said that I loved it. They attributed it to my constant lack of good oxygenated blood getting to my brain but everyone wanted "Momma to be happy". I was not only happy, but actually excited. I welcomed the challenge and I could just see such potential in this old house and thought all it needed was some vision and some TLC - something I still had plenty of.
On moving day, I really thought I would be emotional leaving my "dream house" behind and all the hopes and dreams that I had there. I was leaving behind good friends and a place that I loved. I actually went through the house and prayed blessings over the next people that live there. I truly hope they, whoever they are, will be happy there for many, many years. It's a beautiful house in a wonderful area. I thought I'd be in tears, but I wasn't. I even stopped at the end of the street before making the turn where I would never see the house again and mentioned to Cathy that I was surprised that I wasn't upset. At first we both thought it was because I was just too exhausted but it wasn't that. I had a peace about it. In my mind I thought I was leaving and heading to Florida to live out what little I had left of my life but there was something in my spirit that gave me such peace. We had sold our second car so that we could buy new recliners down here, knowing that we both spend a lot of time in them. We got a great deal at La-Z-Boy's two for one sale and they are extremely comfortable. Funny thing is that we haven't spent much time in them at all.
We've worked hard on this house to make it "ours". We only have one room, the office, left to paint and then the whole house is done. We've puttered in the yard and planted a few items but we know we'll be planting more. Oliver has been working so very hard, between painting and cleaning up the yard. The landlords came by to give us the receipt for our rent and literally had tears in their eyes. They said it was the best this house has looked in years. This was her parent's house, so she has an emotional attachment to it and he has invested so much into it, that he is happy to see his investment being taken care of. It's been a win-win situation.
Each day I seem to push myself a little harder and do a little bit more than the day before. We've taken plenty of "breaks" and headed out exploring our new area. We've been to the beach a couple of times and we've only missed one of Eli's soccer games - because Oliver was busy and lost track of time and I fell sound asleep in the above-mentioned recliner. While I'm still on oxygen 24/7, it seems I have been able to walk a little farther and do a little more each day. Instead of becoming weaker like the doctors predicted, I have become stronger. Instead of feeling all alone in a new area, we have met some wonderful people in our new church and we just know they will be friends for life. Speaking of our new church, we LOVE it. It's a "happening" church and so very involved in the community and we're fiiting right in. God knew what He was doing.
None of the facts have changed - we're still broke with far too many bills than income, they will be auctioning off the house in TN the end of the month (and hopefully someone will be blessed with it) and we don't know how that will all end up, I still have Pulmonary Fibrosis which has slowed me down but not knocked me out as predicted, etc. but life has taken a surprisingly upward turn. We're having fun. We're laughing and smiling and LIVING. It's been a joy, not a chore, to work on this house and the surrounding property. It's been wonderful seeing the vision of what it could be come together and to feel so at home here, it's like we've been here for years. It was tempting not to make the move though. The last week we were there, we got the call that we did qualify for the "Save my TN Home" program and they would have paid our mortgage for the next year. It was tempting, but we knew that even in a year from now, we'd be in no better shape to afford that house. The bank wouldn't work with us now and we'd be further in the hole a year from now. Plus if we accepted the payout, we'd be locked in there for at least 5 years or have to repay all of it. That wouldn't have been fair to Oliver. Besides, we really felt strongly that God wanted us down here.
As the days and weeks go by, we're finding out just how much God wanted us down here. It wasn't like what we thought it was going to be. It's been beyond our wildest dreams. We've hooked up to a wonderful church and, dare I say, we're excited about plugging in and getting involved there. It's like this church was handmade for us. Their beliefs in reaching out to the community and just the people are so in-tuned to how we are, it's way beyond coincidence. We love the community. There is so much to do here at little or no cost. We can ride down by the beach and look at the beautiful water whenever we want. Charlie is having a blast here. He has a huge yard to run around in and a playmate when Eli comes over. We haven't seen Eli as much as we'd like because they're so busy with school, work, sports and church - but that's ok. We're forging lives for ourselves and it's been wonderful. I look forward to getting up in the morning and seeing what God has planned for me each day. We have a peace that somehow things will work out even though we have no idea how. We're not stressing or worrying about it. Each night I lay my head down on my pillow and I thank God that today I have a roof over my head, the electric is paid so that I can watch tv and play on my computer, the water is paid so that I can take a shower, we have food in the house so that we won't go hungry, and we're both still alive and breathing. Today is a good day. But more than all that, I know that tomorrow will be too. His word tells me that I have a "hope and a future" and more than anytime in my life - I believe it. Life is good, but actually living life is even better - and I thank God that He has promised me just that. Have a great day y'all and be sure to thank God for it. ((hugs))
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